So I have this thing about noises people make. I probably shouldn't complain, since I know I'm not the quietest breather in the world, but I tend to notice whenever people have weird habits that generate sound. Like at one job a few years ago, my manager's kid had this thing where he sniffled and snorted constantly. The kid also hovered about six inches behind you, so he was already annoying enough without the noises, but the noises put him into the criminally annoying end of the spectrum.

Anyway, I had jury duty today. The District now has a "one day / one trial" policy, the name of which pretty much explains it all. I was supposed to be there at eight am, which is before I'm usually even awake. I managed to get there about five after, which turned out to be fine as there was a line where we were supposed to check in.

I checked in, got my badge holder, and sat down in the jurors' lounge, where the teevees were playing the Today show at a rather intense volume. I did my best to block it out, but at one point I finally had to look up to find out who it was singing some awful "country" song - and it was Kathie Lee Gifford. If there's anything that will make you need to wash your brain out with Murphy's Oil Soap, it's that. Where's my Ipecac when I need it?

They showed an orientation video, and then the court official said they can't show the news, and they can't show HBO or Showtime as there had been complaints, so they show "nature videos." Luckily, I had my McSweeneys.

Anyway, around nine they called the first group for a trial, and I wasn't in it. So I continued to read, avoiding looking at my watch since I thought it might actually make the day seem longer if I were aware of how slowly the time passed. Around 11 (I looked at that point) they called a second selection group, including me that time. We were told to wait in the atrium. By the time the official got there (and I use the term loosely, as she didn't really command any respect), the judge had announced that he didn't need us after all, so we were sent back to the jurors' lounge.

At that point, I decided to try the "Quiet Room," figuring that it might be more amenable to reading. For the most part, it was. Except for Noisy Woman. She started out being Annoying Candy Sucking Noise Woman (Dear People of Earth: You do not have to suck actively on hard candy. It will melt on its own. *Heart*, Fedward), which is high on my list of annoying noises people make (chronic snifflers are another bad group). But when she finished whatever candy she had, she didn't replace it. Which was good. But then she started reading her newspaper.

Now, for Annoying Candy Sucking Noise Woman, reading the newspaper is neither a simple nor a quiet process. It involves lots of folding, refolding, and folding again. Then some unfolding so that pages can be turned, which necessitates more folding. And then she turned into Coupon Tearing Woman. Except I don't think she was just tearing coupons out, I think she may have been saving articles as well. But anyway, in addition to the folding, unfolding, excessive page turning, and more folding, there was now lots of tearing. In the Quiet Room.

I guess Noisy Woman wasn't clear on the concept that when you're in a Quiet Room, any sound that's made seems grossly out of proportion to what is around it. So her newspaper habit, while innocuous in and of itself, was not acceptable Quiet Room behavior.

So they called us all into the Jurors' Lounge again a little after noon, saying that they weren't going to let us go to lunch at 12:15 (the usual lunch time), because they were going to hold us until 12:30 instead -- and if no juries had been called by 12:30 they'd just release us for the day. This is what ended up happening. Since it was a beautiful day, I figured I'd walk over to the offices of my old employer and see who was in and if anybody wanted to grab some lunch.

Most of them were out. I talked to the one person I knew who was actually there when I got there, and then rode the elevator down to the ground floor. As I exited the building, I ran into another old cow orker, and we talked for a while. It seems that the reason most of the people I knew weren't there was because they'd either quit (most of those I knew about already) or were laid off last week. Oops. I had just found out that the company leased two more floors in the building, which added a bit of surreality to the news of the layoffs.

Apparently the real estate arm of the business (run as a separate entity) is much more profitable and straightforward than the consulting side -- not that I'm surprised by this. Real estate is generally a pretty automatic money generator, where consulting requires more of both sales and support. They're leasing space from the building mgmt (pronounced migm(schwa)t), putting in cubes and network connectivity, and subletting that space to other companies. Considering their decision (which I thought unwise at the time back when they weren't even in trouble) to put in a T-3, I guess the sublets aren't such a bad idea after all. They can lease improved space with plenty of bandwidth (funny, that sounds just like Bobo), and also defray the not insignificant costs of that circuit.

Back to the plot. In what was actually the second wave of layoffs, the company dumped two of the people hired to replace me back in February (there were actually four hired to replace me, but they'd had trouble keeping that number on staff, so I don't know how many are left now), the IT and Operations directors they'd hired about a year ago, and the database guy, who'd been there two years, but who had found out what he was worth on the open market around the time I left, and whom they'd had to start paying more money to keep. Apparently the New York office was decimated in the first round of layoffs, and while there are still nominally Toronto and Boston offices, the veep who had been in Toronto left to go work for the company he was subletting space from, and neither Toronto nor Boston have brought in any new clients.

Oh, the other veep who couldn't manage anything (this company was totally passive aggressive in management, and the two directors they just laid off were about the only actual managers I've seen there) isn't getting canned (as he should have been at least a year ago), but did find another job and just handed in his resignation.

In case anybody's wondering whether I'm happy with my decision to leave, the answer is a resounding yes.

Anyway, after finding out all that information, I got some lunch at Cosi (I never get to eat there anymore since there aren't any out in the Resto-Herndon Industrial Complex), went home, and ended up taking a three hour nap. A three hour nap. With a cat in my lap, and he didn't make odd noises once. At least not any that I noticed.

link (28 oct)

O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A
Our chant rolls on and on!
Thousands strong
Join heart and song
In Alma Mater's praise
Of campus beautiful by day and night
Of colors proudly gleaming Red and White
'Neath the western sky
OU's chant will never die.
Live on, University!

Now why couldn't they have done this ten years ago when I had season tickets?

link (28 oct)